Trial by Fire

Day Three: I am still diligent, still sleepy, and still motivated. I am still in the awkward stages of academic beginnings...just beyond the scripted introductions, on the cusp of something both tenuous and incredibly strong. In a few, short days, the experimental, arts-integrated team teaching is already having an effect on me. It is even more necessary to adapt teaching styles, because now, I have to bounce everything off of my co-teacher, as well as my students. Class sizes range from a reasonable sixteen students in one eighth grade section, to a whopping thirty seven students in one sixth grade class. I have a hundred and fifty children, several other teachers, and five different curricula to consider. My IEPs are due by tomorrow, and my budget requests are due by Friday. Admittedly, this is all a bit overwhelming. It's really difficult to spread oneself so thin, to worry about the practicalities of life whilst trying to cram all of the early madness into a few, short days.

I spent some time reading through the student questionaires this afternoon, and I'm glad that I asked more questions, this year. Some of the answers made me smile, some of them surprised me, and some of them broke my heart. Teaching is a lovely profession, but a difficult one for someone who is a bit insecure. I often wonder how many students I am able to reach, and how many I miss. I was really surprised at several eighth-graders who requested my class again, this year. Many of them were outcasts. Many of them struggled in my class--and truthfully, I got a few who selected my class as their first choice, when I was convinced that they hated me or hated music in previous years. I really only got one extremely negative response. I wish that I could make everyone love my subject area, that I could uplift every one of my students, and that they would all feel more valued and successful at the end of each semester.

For now, I am optimistic. Team teaching will make me more aware of myself and my students' needs. With any luck, this year will be the most successful one yet.